6 Reasons You Can't Trust Pugs

WARNING: Pugs are a dangerous breed of dog which cannot be trusted. Pugs have a worldwide reputation for being laid back, gentle and family oriented pets. But these eye bulging mouth breathing mutants are not fooling us! We know the truth about Pugs, and have provided you with the evidence below...

1) Not Safe Around Babies or Children

Don't be fooled by their cuteness. Pugs can be savage violent and unstoppable beasts, turning on  unexpected children and in a split second. Much like a Pit Bull, once a Pug goes into a violent frenzy little can be done to stop these brutal creatures.

 

2) Pugs Are Greedy

Pugs in general are greedy eaters and will overeat if given the chance. Since they gain weight easily, they can quickly become fat and obese if food intake isn't limited. Pugs will basically eat anything, including lounge chairs, colour printers and even rock sculptures. Owning the fattest dog at the local park is an embarrassment and can bring many years of shame. In some cases this can lead to severe anxiety, depression and even suicide!

 

3) Pugs Are Perverts and Sexual Deviants



Pugs are perverted and sexual deviants. It' not uncommon to witness these horny beasts participate in group sex, with most of these sickening hookups happening at a local park close to public toilets. Pugs will hump anything, not only other Pugs, but cats, cushions, teddy bears and the unexpected bypasses leg. I have even witnessed a horny Pug dry humping the air!

 

4) Pugs Destroy Homes and Families

People without CCTV cameras in their home have no idea what their Pugs get up to when they are at work. These evil beasts are destroyers, and they will demolish anything they choose for one simple fact .. they feel like it! The destructive behavior of Pugs has lead to couples divorcing, families destroyed  and has even turned many owners to alcoholism.

 

5) Sorcery

If a good friend or partner caused even half the destruction in our lives as the average Pug, this would undoubtedly lead to divorce, legal action and the possibility of  murder. Yet a Pug can chew and destroy my one week old iPhone 7 and within an hour everything is forgiven. How they do this, I am yet to know.. but the only logical conclusion to this phenomena is Pug Sorcery.

 

6)  Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

Bulging bug eyes, rolls of fat, preposterously squashed faces, laboured breathing, wrinkle-nosed, complete lack of survival instincts, no neck, barking noises that sound like a demented alien.. yet, to those of us who own Pugs, the words cute, adorable, beautiful, loveable, loyal and sweet come to mind. Once again, the only logical response to these irrational delusions is Pug sorcery.

Written tongue in cheek by an anonymous Pug Lover